


No Way...Is That Akashi

by SquaryQ



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4213332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquaryQ/pseuds/SquaryQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This isn't basketball, this is madness!<br/>~<br/>The human mind is a scary thing, it can warp the world and bring anything to life. Fangirls can do anything, especially when their subconscious has no limits...like when you're sleeping.<br/>~<br/>Hetty Adams goes to a sports oriented school, Lakefield Sports Academy, with her two best friends, Phoebe and Cas. The trio love Kuroko No Basket, each for different reasons; Phoebe loves Takao's voice actor and watches anything with him in it, Cas watches sports anime and pretty much only sports anime and Hetty is an obsessives basketball player. All three girls obsess over one of the twenty gym teachers at Lakefield, Mr Reed, Coach Harkin Reed. He's the object of their obsession for one reason and one reason only; he looks jus like Akashi Seijuro...</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Way...Is That Akashi

The hype for Kuroko No Basket's third season is at it's optimum. The three of us, Phoebe, Cassandra and I had been excited about this for months. Cas read the manga but that isn't fun. She manipulates us with spoilers! Tonight is the penultimate day before the third season begins, a Thursday. The three of us are on Skype, ranting and raving about our "basketball babies", mainly me. Phoebe loved Haikyuu and Cas' main obsession is Yowamushi Pedal. That's due to those shows tackling the sport that they got into Lakefield by playing. I got in via basketball. 

Phoebe is musing over the opening and ending themes of the last two seasons.

"I wonder if Kuroko will look like a shoujo protagonist this season!" Phoebe exclaims over Skype. In the second season's final opening is full of sakura petals and winter and sweetness.

"Tch, it's just queer baiting, Phoebe. Of COURSE he will look like a shoujo protagonist!" Our friend Cas snaps. Cas gets angry when her precious ships don't sail. We all do. Riko x Hyuga has Phoebe's heart, while Cas favours Kiyoshi x Hyuga. I ship both.

"I bet Hetty misses her precious meganes!" Phoebe giggles. 

"Cough. Cough. Megane fetish." Cas scoffs.

"It's not just meganes!" I stomp my foot.

"Midorima, Hyuga, Ryugazaki Rei..." Cas smirks.

"Rei, Kyoya, Pip Bernadotte..." Phoebe teases. 

"Tssuki Kei, Yukio, Mikami..." 

"For your information, Cassie, I would NOT want to do anything with MIKAMI! Yuck! He wasn't voiced by Hirakawa Daisuke! So he doesn't even get awesome VA bonus points!" I shout into my mic.

"But Makoto from School Days did." Phoebe sighs, head in her hands. "Can we finish with our KnB madness before I have to go offline?"

"I told you not to call me Cassie!" Cas retorts. 

I ignore Cas. "You okay, Phoebe?"

"She's just moping because Momoi x Kuroko won't sail." Cassie sneers.

"Shut up! MomoKuro has a chance!" Phoebe snaps.

"Just as much of a chance as Hyuga and Riko!" I encourage my dark haired friend of three years. Cas rolls her eyes. 

"You mentioned Kuroko as a shoujo protagonist, huh, Phoebe. Have you read the Gekkan Shoujo Tetsu-kun fic on AO3?" I change the subject.

"I have!!! When? When will the writer update! I now know how my fic readers feel!"

"Why do you think I keep my fics alive?" I tease. The two of us, Phoebe and I, write KnB fanfiction too. Cas is too busy coming up with a conspiracy theory as to why one of the gym teachers, Coach Harkin Reed looks just like Akashi Seijuro.

"Hetty! Go to bed! I know you're online!" My mum shouts. I sigh.

"Night Hetty." Phoebe sighs.

"See ya in the morning!" Cas adds.

"Night Mrs Adams!" The two girls chime in unison.

"Night Phoebe! Night Cassandra!" CA's frowns as I exit Skype, checking my clock. 12:00. One day until KnB season three's premier.

I clamber into bed and curl up next to my birth bear, Henry Bear and smile at the shelf of anime plushies that line my wall. 

"One more day~"

~~~

My Daisuke Hirakawa alarm clock wakes me up, he's being Ryugazaki Rei to chide me for requiring his services to wake me every morning. Before switching off his beautiful baritone voice, I grab for my grubby glasses. I cannot see without them so once I go to bed, I place them less than an arm's length away from me. Today is a big day! The excitement and anticipation that has been boiling under my skin for my entire time at Lakefield is too be released today. That fact alone results in me leaping out of bed happily.

I dress in the uniform for Lakefield much slower than usual, taking pride in our ridiculous clothing. Phoebe and I have a slightly different uniform to Cas, despite being in the same class, we are in rival faculty houses. Phoebe and I are in Fitzgerald house while Cas is in Chaucer house. Fitzgerald and Chaucer are intensely rivalling houses. It's always weird for other students to see a trio, constructed of rival houses. 

Today is a big day for me! You can tell due to the state of my uniform, I'm pretty untidy with my clothes but today my skirt is neatly ironed and I'm wearing a fresh shirt from a brand new pack. The faculty tie that I'm fastening around my neck is the yellow one, which lacks the huge red paint splodge; from where another friend of mine, Eddy, from Rowling house, flicked the poaint colour of his house at me. Today is the day that I, a mere year nine, along with my classmates Leon and Nick, will be representing Fitzgerald house in the termly unisex basketball battle. It's the first battle since the staff reps were changed around. It resulted in Coach Harkin Reed joining Fitzgerald house. He set up our team two weeks ago, I'm truly honoured to represent my house. And the coach that looks just like Akashi Seijuro!

I cannot fuss with my hair or make up. Not that I ever do. I refrain from looking in the mirror, since I'm clearly the "ugly friend" out of my friends. Since I'm playing basketball today, I pull my hair into a short ponytail. Man, I have cut my hair! I push up my glasses, now ready for a great day. 

"Good morning, Hetty." My mum greets in Japanese as she brushes through while I eat a bowl of Wheatabix with chocolate milk. I almost choke on my soggy yet chocolately wheat mush. My mum just spoke Japanese! The same woman who thought 'Hello' in Chinese was "Meow"! I drop my spoon. 

"Morning, Mum, will you be at the game today?" I smirk, replying in Japanese also, one of our friends from Rowling house, Umi, taught us Japanese in year seven. We're all fairly knowledgeable of the language. No way my mum would know the right way to respond to this. This is not a good way to mess with me on the day of the big day! 

"Of course I am." This time I do choke on my breakfast. My mum gives me water so I can wash down the mush. 

"Phoebe-chan and Cassie-san ought too be here soon!" Mum exclaims. There's something off with her today. For some reason, my mum is wearing her hair in a cheesy "anime mum" style! 

There are two knocks at my door. I open the door and my friends bow at the doorway! I snort a laugh. This is a prank. Everybody is messing with me! They have to be! 

"Are you ready to do Fitzgerald house proud, Hetty-chan!" Phoebe's eyes are shining as she projects a flowery optimistic ora. I smile back at her.

"Tch. You'll lose to Wilkinson-sama." Cas rolls her eyes. 

"Cassie-san, you underestimate Hetty." My mum chides her a bit. 

"To answer your question, Phoebe...-chan...?" This is weird! Why are we speaking Japanese! Why aren't we lounging around my house sipping tea like normal! Why aren't we being stereotypically British!?! "I'm going to team up with those very tall midgets to stream the crown from Chaucer house!" 

"YOU TWO DON'T KNOW MY PAIN!" Cas wails, dramatically flailing her arms. I flick her in the face. Cas falls on the floor. Phoebe helps her to her feet. Fortunately, Cas fell on her knees, her snowy white socks aren't dirty and nor is her skirt.

"Bye mum!" I wave to her.

"Hey, Phoebe-chan, is Samuel-kun still trying to get you to go out with him?" Cas asks.

"Yeah, he is. But Leon-san told Samuel-kun that if Hetty-chan wins today, he'll confess."

"That is the sure way to motivate her to win!" Cas teases.

"Ew! No! Yuck! Leon-san isn't going to confess! He has nothing to confess for!" I protest.

"Sure~" my friends drawl out. 

Leon-san has been my friend for a number of years. He is also on the Fitzgerald house team. He has no doubts in my skill. Which is sweet but... But Phoebe and Cas are hell bent on the idea that he is "unconditionally and irrevocably in love with me". Ahh, the award to the most unnecessary Twilight reference goes to Cas and Phoebe on Leon! 

We're almost at school now...why are the boys in...WHY THE HELL ARE THE GUYS IN GAKURANS!!! AM I HIGH? 

"Phoebe-chan! Cassie-chan! Hetty-chan!" Umi waves happily, bouncing up anddoiwn in her own uniform for Rowling house, beside her is Eddy and a friend or a rival of mine since childhood, Leah. She's playing in the Chaucer game. 

"Oh...it's you." Leah folds her arms. "I'm going to crush you."

"I look forward to creaming you today, LeehLeeh." I fold my arms and return her hostile look. 

"OI! ADAMS! HERE NOW!" 

"COACH!" I turn to face the man who looks like Akashi Seijuro. My jaw drops. This isn't Coach Reed... THIS IS THE REAL AKASHI SEIJURO!!!!

"We're training now." I am told. In Japanese. This is weird. 

"Bye, Phoebe-chan! Bye Cas-chan! Bye Eddy-san! Bye Umi-chan!" I call as I'm steered out of the school main grounds and into the gym. 

"Morning Hetty-san." Nick greets. I nod to him and Leon. Our senpai are here too. I'm wary of them. Within such amazing senpai, I'm surprisefd that the real Coach Reed wanted me on the team.

~(^v^)~ Time Skip ~(^v^)~

The audience is piled up in the bleachers. It's so intense on the court. Fitzgerald and Chaucer houses have beaten Rowling house, thus making them come last in the tournament. The students from Rowling are heckling their team. Their players seem mad. It's a team of students in their last year here, of course they're devastated to have come last! I would be too. 

The biggest match of today is about to begin, at least our team got the chance to have a cool down for about twenty minutes. Poor Chaucer have to go in with nothing! Too bad they've given us the advantage that way.

"Hetty-chan, they're subbing Leah-san in." my eyes widen, Chaucer and Fitzgerald have subbed all of their students in their final ((of seven)) years here out!

It's down to the newbies now, the fourth and fifth years. None of the sixth years are on either team. They're all benched, to be bonus strategic minds or something...or at least...they're benched in team kit on Chaucer 's bench. Seems Akashi thinks we can win without bonus analysis coming from the sixth and seventh year students.

Nick makes his way to the centre of the court to receive the tip off. He's against a surprisingly agile boy from Eddy's class, Jordan. Jordan is shorter than Nick but can jump like Kagami freaking Taiga! 

The ball is tossed. 

"I believe I can fly~" Jordan exlaims as he leaps to catch it. Chaucer house has started with the ball. Jordan passes the ball to Leah almost immediately.

"Oi! Adams!" Akashi is glaring at me. Everything inside of me is telling me to leave this to Leon or Nick and for me to defend our basket. Phoebe always compared me to Murasakibara because I lurk by the basket as much as I can but I do it as my personal strategy. 

I shake my head, I do NOT want my cause of death to be "Death at the hand of Akashi and his scissors of doom". Let's just say that Phoebe and I played up the importance of Kagami being cut by those scissors of doom. I stand before Leah.

Akashi suggested that I get inside her head. I make a fist.

"One day we're friends forever..." I murmur. 

"Go take some singing lessons." Leah sneers, cold hazel eyes locked with mine. She is bouncing the ball as I block her.

I slap the ball onto the floor, Akashi is smirking at me. He knows that the two of us will go head to head once the all clear is given. 

I pass to Leon and head towards the basket. Our opposition is double teaming Nick. The only other girl on the Fitzgerald house team, Olivia intercepts the ball from Leon so they can pass amongst themselves. Another defender runs to block Nick. We prepared for this. 

The whole team's formation shifts. Leon dribbles straight for the basket. I run too, flanking the boy who is apparently going to confess later. Nick is still being triple teamed by Chaucer house. Leon jumps for the basket. Olivia is blocking one defender while our oldest teammate prepares for the rebound. He and Jordan will be battling it out for the rebound. Remember, what Akashi said. Board once. Board twice. Backward pass to Nick then score!

Leah intercepts Nick's pass. I glare at her as Chaucer cheers. Leah and I stare each other down. 

"This is it!" Phoebe exclaims. "The match is going to get good!"

"Phoebe-chaannnn, nobody has scored a basket yet!" Someone whines. 

"You're not seeing what I'm seeing!"

Leah makes the first move, pushing herself forward before moving backward.

"Gotta go fast." Leah mutters, making an opening. I know how she plays. She moves on the third opening. She switches the control of the ball into her left hand. It's a trick. And you know it, Hetty. 

The third time she moves the ball is my opening. I seize the ball. "Gotta go fast." I mutter.

"Go!" The crowd exclaims in one voice, some are talking to Leah, others are speaking to me.

I try again. 

Board once.

Board twice.

Backward pass to Nick. 

To Leon. 

To Oliva.

To me, who is now comfortably in range of the basket.

Set shot.

The whistle blows.

I close my eyes, fingers crossed, praying that the point would count.

'Dear Freckled Jesus, Speckled Lord, please grant me with the point to give game control to Fitzgerald house!'...only to open them and be in my bed in my room. Wait what?

"I swear, you make me do this for you every morning." Hirakawa Daisuke chides.

I rub my eyes. Did I really dream all of that? Why did I willingly make Akashi Seijuro the coach of Fitzgerald house's basketball team? Was I high? Maybe on feels.

"Hetty! C'mon! Your breakfast is ready!" Mum shouts. I sigh with relief. She spoke English, thank you Freckled Jesus.


End file.
